kenberg, on 2022-November-23, 10:45, said:
I have not been closely watching this thread so I just saw this today. I still want to comment.
I gather that you regard your father's skepticism as unrealistic and I agree. But I know many people who put total faith in anything that a doctor tells them and I also regard that as unrealistic. I think that money sometimes plays a role, often not explicitly. I think the greater problem is human nature. Doctors have limited time and limited ability and so caution is needed. They say we should ask questions but when we do they get upset. I could fill pages with stories demonstrating this but I will just give one, I think I mentioned it before. Becky and I both have sleep apnea. She was talking to her doctor, he was saying how great it was that her AHI (a measure of the problem) had gone down, she was saying that the apnea was still affecting her life and she wanted to see how to get it lower. He replied, "Who is the doctor? Oh, I am the doctor". Of course, she now sees a different sleep doctor.
Although his phrasing might have been unusual, the lack of respect for the patient's thoughts is, unfortunately, extremely common. I can give examples going back to my 20s, and now in my 80s the greater need for medical care makes such occurrences a part of everyday life. Extreme cynicism is a form of naivety, just as unquestioning faith is a form of naivety. We have to cope, nothing new about that.
As to childhood days, I was born in 1939 so my childhood years fall between yours and your father's. I started kindergarten in 1943, we were given vaccines in school, they just did it, nobody asked me, I am not sure what would have happened if my parents said no vaccines for Kenny. I suppose some people had religious objections to vaccines, I suppose they were accommodated somehow, but, with my parents, they went to church on Sunday and the rest of the week the pastor was expected to butt out. So I took the shots that they (whoever "they" were) told me to take.
My siblings and I always got our vaccinations in school too, and I still remember how devastating polio was before the Sauk vaccine arrived. All seven of us are up to date on our Covid shots now too, I'm happy to say -- especially as I'm going to be with them for a couple of days starting this afternoon.
And I've had bad experiences similar to yours with both doctors and dentists. My sophomore year in high school (I went to different high schools my freshman, sophomore, and junior years) I developed a toothache. I knew that the father of one of the girls in my class -- I'll call her Sally Jones -- was a dentist, so I went to her dad's office to have it checked.
Dr. Jones said, "This molar will have to come out." He numbed my jaw and began to pull it -- and had a devil of a time getting it loose. He then said that my tooth must not be in as bad shape as he'd thought, but since he had already started pulling it, he'd have to finish the job. It took a while, but he finally pulled it out.
When I started to talk about what happened with a couple of guys at school, they looked incredulous: "You really went to Dr. Jones?! He'll pull all your teeth!"
Constance and I were business partners before we were married, and before we were business partners, Constance was the pretty, outspoken, atheist girl I knew in Mensa. One of the Mensa members in Atlanta was a dentist, so we thought it would be a good idea to try him out. What a mistake! He was so abrasive and insulting to the folks who worked for him that they were always new and always trembling -- not something you want when people are working on your teeth. (We have other Mensa stories too -- a high IQ does not ensure good sense or good judgment.)
I've encountered doctors like the one you described, too, where the doctor's incompetence is exceeded only by his arrogance. Nowadays I do a lot of research before going to any doctor, even though it often takes me a lot longer to schedule an appointment. But I've had good luck when I'm able get referrals from a doctor I really trust.
The growth of wisdom may be gauged exactly by the diminution of ill temper. — Friedrich Nietzsche
The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists — that is why they invented hell. — Bertrand Russell