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This hand is not from my table, but it is a CLASSIC example of the MONUMENTAL, staggering incompetence of the worst "bridge players" the UNIVERSE has ever seen, namely the TRULY disgusting and repulsive pieces of trash known as GIB/GIBBO robots.
Their pathetic 2C system is on full display, but I won't even TALK about how HOPELESS it is, because on THIS hand there are MUCH bigger fish to fry.
In an uninterrupted auction, South deals and opens 2C. North, in their hopeless 2C response structure, leaps to 3D and South bids 3NT.
North now does what he SO often does in such situations. He makes an undisciplined, unscientific, unilateral leap to 6NT...but here his call is even MORE stupid than usual, and THAT is saying a LOT, because his jumps to 6NT are usually very, VERY stupid.
Why is THIS stupid bid even MORE stupid than his USUAL stupid bids? Here's why: The GIB definition of this worthless M.O.R.O.N.'S imbecilic 6NT call claims that it shows "14-16 HCP", but the slimeball has a mere TEN!!! He has SIX fewer than his possible maximum, but much more importantly, he has a full FOUR (!) fewer than his "PROMISED" MINIMUM!
Oh yeah, a truly BRILLIANT strategy to LIE to your "PARTNER" at the SIX level in an uninterrupted auction when you KNOW that he has a BIG hand! These GIBBO nincompoops have less intelligence than a bag of sand. They are pure garbage.
The human South, with a great 23 HCP, all four aces, and an excellent trick source with AK10-fifth of spades, does some basic arithmetic. He adds his 23 HCP to North's "promised" MINIMUM of 14. 23 plus 14 equals 37, which is the benchmark for a grand slam, and the partnership (supposedly!) has at LEAST thst benchmark with at LEAST 37 HCP. If North happens to have more than his "PROMISED" MINIMUM, the partnership will have 38...or 39...or ALL FORTY HCP in the deck! And furthermore, in addition to their combined total of between thirty-seven and FORTY HCP, and in addition to SOUTH'S fine trick source with his five good spades, South ALSO knows that (barring a 5-0 enemy diamond split) the partnership has at LEAST five diamond tricks, since North has promised five or more diamonds to the KQ and South has the AJ7.
After considering all this information, South confidently raises 6NT to 7NT. He would be a complete I.D.I.O.T. if he didn't! Since he's a HUMAN, not a piece of dirt GIBBO robot, he's NOT an I.D.I.O.T., so when he bids 7NT he fully expects to CLAIM as soon as he sees the opening lead. He figures he'll probably have 16 or 17 (!) TOP tricks.
All pass. East leads the heart 3. The human sees that the piece of GIBBO garbage sitting across from him has LIED about his HCP. Like most humans, South wonders why these GIBBO trashcans were not incinerated years ago and replaced by DECENT robots.
Still, despite North's MASSIVE ignorance and unforgivable dishonesty, the contract is quite reasonable. It's not COLD like it WOULD have been if the GIBBO robot in the North was not such an imbecilic, lying slimeball, but it certainly RATES to make. There are 12 GUARANTEED tricks: two clubs, five diamonds, two hearts, and three spades. But there is an EXCELLENT chance of MORE than "only" three spades, since South has AK1065 and North has Q9 doubleton. Unless one of the opponents has at least FOUR spades to the jack, the 13th trick will come from spades and the grand slam will make.
The human is apprehensive, though, because he's well aware that BBO seems to produce ridiculously bad breaks more often than in "real" bridge. Anyway, the human starts playing. He wins the heart lead and immediately rattles off five diamond tricks.
On the fourth diamond, EAST PITCHES THE EIGHT OF SPADES.
On the fifth (last) diamond, EAST PITCHES THE SEVEN OF SPADES.
Six tricks have been played so far. At trick seven, declarer plays dummy's spade queen and EAST SHOWS OUT. HE HAS NO MORE SPADES AND THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT!
The hand is VERY unluckily doomed to go down one, since the spade jack will not drop...but the human does NOT give up, because he knows that against GIBBO "defenders", the WORST "defenders" by FAR in the HISTORY of bridge, anything is possible.
Declarer cashes the AK of clubs. He has now taken all 9 of the first 9 tricks.
With four cards left in each hand, this is the situation:
South has the AK10 of spades and the 8 of hearts,
West has the J32 of spades and the jack of clubs.
North has the 9 of spades, the K6 of hearts, and the 8 of clubs.
East has the QJ7 of hearts and the 10 of clubs.
At trick ten, South leads his heart 8. West has no hearts, so he must pitch one of his four remaining cards. He can obviously see only his own hand and dummy South, so he can SEE that dummy South's last three cards will be the EXPOSED AK10. The queen is GONE. His (West's) J32 of spades...BEHIND (!) dummy South is a STOPPER. West KNOW3S that his partner East has NO spades left, because East earlier SHOWED OUT IN SPADES. Thus, West KNOWS that NORTH has the only other spade left, the nine. It is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OBVIOUS for West to pitch his club jack and KEEP HIS THREE SPADES!
West pitches...THE JACK OF SPADES (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and declarer CLAIMS!
These GIBBO pieces of garbage do stupid things things bid after bid, card after card, hand after hand, because they have NO idea how to play bridge, but THIS hand illustrates how MAGNIFICENTLY wretched they are more dramatically than just about every other one I've seen...and I've seen THOUSANDS of horrendous atrocities by these sickening losers! First, North makes his INSANE 6NT call, TOTALLY misleading his "partner" and then the wack job in the West produces one of the most braindead "defensive" plays of ALL time to allow the doomed grand to make...and the imbecile blew the defence at a point where the hand WAS AN OPEN BOOK!
GIBBO is a disaster, a travesty, and a SCAR on the face of bridge. It is the WORST!
https://www.bridgeba...HQ%7Cmc%7C13%7C
Benellis58 GIB bashing on repeat Groundhog Day
#2302
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,336
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 02:36
We got a shared top of 95.83 % on this board, so I'm not complaining, but North's bidding was bizarre, considering that A. He never showed that he was 5-5 in the majors; B. WITH his 5-5 in the majors, he leapt to three NO TRUMP (!) over South's 2S; and C. He did that AFTER going to the trouble of bidding NMF...AND...AFTER thereby learning that South had three spades! On top of everything else, if he was GOING to bid 3NT anyway...EVEN after locating the 5-3 spade fit...then why did he even BOTHER bidding NMF???
https://www.bridgeba...CK%7Cpc%7CS7%7C
https://www.bridgeba...CK%7Cpc%7CS7%7C
#2304
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- Posts: 2,336
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 03:29
Another example of GIBBO's WRETCHED, ABYSMAL declarer play (yes, DECLARER PLAY - the one and only facet of bridge where these GIBBO ignoramuses are actually slightly less bad than they are at EVERYTHING else):
West butchers -oops, sorry - West "declares" 3NT...as ONLY a GIBBO robot can! Horribly!
Declarer West has won all 10 of the first 10 tricks.
This is the position at trick eleven:
Declarer West is in his East dummy and is on lead.
East has the Q10 of diamonds and the queen of spades.
South, the human defender, behind East, has the 86 of diamonds and the king of spades.
West, the declarer, has the 986 of spades.
North, the robot "defender", has the jack of diamonds and the A10 of spades.
As you can see, if declarer cashes dummy's diamond queen, that will be his eleventh trick...and it will drop North's now-stiff queen, so dummy's diamond 10 wil be declarer's TWELFTH trick. He doesn't KNOW the diamond jack will fall, but he knows that it MIGHT, and in any case he might as well cash the queen for his ELEVENTH trick whether or not the jack will drop, but instead he plays...
...dummy's queen of spades (!!!) even though he KNOWS that his NS opponents have the ACE, KING, and TEN of spades in THEIR hands!
Typically, this hopeless GIBBO "declarer" has made a play that CANNOT gain, and does in fact LOSE. He ends up with only ELEVEN tricks instead of the TWELVE that he was entitled to with the diamond jack dropping.
https://www.bridgeba...D6%7Cpc%7CS6%7C
West butchers -oops, sorry - West "declares" 3NT...as ONLY a GIBBO robot can! Horribly!
Declarer West has won all 10 of the first 10 tricks.
This is the position at trick eleven:
Declarer West is in his East dummy and is on lead.
East has the Q10 of diamonds and the queen of spades.
South, the human defender, behind East, has the 86 of diamonds and the king of spades.
West, the declarer, has the 986 of spades.
North, the robot "defender", has the jack of diamonds and the A10 of spades.
As you can see, if declarer cashes dummy's diamond queen, that will be his eleventh trick...and it will drop North's now-stiff queen, so dummy's diamond 10 wil be declarer's TWELFTH trick. He doesn't KNOW the diamond jack will fall, but he knows that it MIGHT, and in any case he might as well cash the queen for his ELEVENTH trick whether or not the jack will drop, but instead he plays...
...dummy's queen of spades (!!!) even though he KNOWS that his NS opponents have the ACE, KING, and TEN of spades in THEIR hands!
Typically, this hopeless GIBBO "declarer" has made a play that CANNOT gain, and does in fact LOSE. He ends up with only ELEVEN tricks instead of the TWELVE that he was entitled to with the diamond jack dropping.
https://www.bridgeba...D6%7Cpc%7CS6%7C
#2305
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- Posts: 2,336
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 09:42
These despicable GIBBO robots cannot HELP being absolute M.O.R.O.N.S. They can ALWAYS find a way to do something STUPID, be it big or small. Here's a small but COMMON example of their blinding ignorance.
North, on a very simple auction, happens to be on lead against West's contract of 2C.
South happens to be CURSED with North being on lead against West's contract of 2C.
South EXPECTS North to make a bad lead, because South KNOWS that GIBBO robots USUALLY make bad leads. That's what the worst leaders of all time are PRONE to doing.
The auction was brief: South opened one DIAMOND in fourth seat, passed hand West overcalled 2C, and all passed.
North, a TYPICALLY ignorant (and STUBBORN, as we will see!) GIBBO robot, was on lead with A853, Q94, 1084, 852.
Now, as we all know, opening leads are sometimes guesses. They can depend largely or even entirely on luck and/or the random layout on the random hand being played in the OFTEN random game of bridge. Sometimes ANY lead might be "right" or "wrong" on a given hand.
Here, North has no OBVIOUS lead, but GIVEN that he has no "obvious" lead, why the HELL would he not just try the suit his PARTNER opened (in this case, diamonds), which I think is what the majority of ACTUAL bridge players would do?
But the disgusting, terminally stupid, repulsive GIBBO robots - for some strange and perverse reason - seem to consistently HATE leading their "partner's" suit, so on THIS random hand, North - for absolutely NO reason - leads a heart. This MIGHT work out best sometimes on some random hands, sure. And a DIAMOND (OR a club OR a spade) might work out poorly sometimes, but that is NOT an argument for leading a heart for absolutely NO reason.
On THIS random hand, a heart lead happened to work out VERY poorly, as it happened to DESTROY the "guaranteed" heart WINNER that North-South would have had on ANY other lead. Not surprising, since a lead from queen-third (or doubleton) is, along with a lead from jack-third (or doubleton) one of the most DANGEROUS leads in bridge, because it can easily do what it did here...by picking up a suit that declarer could NEVER do otherwise.
Even if a heart had been the BEST lead on this random hand, I would STILL have written this post, because the lead would STILL have been senseless and it would have been pure DUMB luck that it HAPPENED to turn out well.
Note that there was nothing MAGICAL about a DIAMOND lead. IT would not have GAINED anything, per se, but at least it would not have COST anything, as the STUPID heart lead did. In fact, a heart lead was the ONLY suit that would cost a trick on this hand, and SURE ENOUGH the execrable, fleabrained GIBBO robot had NO trouble finding it, because his SPECIALTY is finding the WORST, and LEAST rational leads. He is not helped by his perverse (and stubborn!) OBSESSION to AVOID leading his "partner's" suit.
This hand was nothing exceptional and North's STUBBORN refusal to lead his "PARTNER'S" suit on this and COUNTLESS other hands is certainly not the worst of his ENDLESSLY imbecilic habits and actions, but it shows that from big to small, these nauseating monstrosities seem DESTINED to almost ALWAYS do SOMETHING stupid, illogical, and costly. GIBBO is the PITS. As I have previously opined, if we TRIED to create a robot WORSE than GIBBO, we would have a HUGELY difficult, and perhaps IMPOSSIBLE task.
https://www.bridgeba...C9%7Cmc%7C10%7C
North, on a very simple auction, happens to be on lead against West's contract of 2C.
South happens to be CURSED with North being on lead against West's contract of 2C.
South EXPECTS North to make a bad lead, because South KNOWS that GIBBO robots USUALLY make bad leads. That's what the worst leaders of all time are PRONE to doing.
The auction was brief: South opened one DIAMOND in fourth seat, passed hand West overcalled 2C, and all passed.
North, a TYPICALLY ignorant (and STUBBORN, as we will see!) GIBBO robot, was on lead with A853, Q94, 1084, 852.
Now, as we all know, opening leads are sometimes guesses. They can depend largely or even entirely on luck and/or the random layout on the random hand being played in the OFTEN random game of bridge. Sometimes ANY lead might be "right" or "wrong" on a given hand.
Here, North has no OBVIOUS lead, but GIVEN that he has no "obvious" lead, why the HELL would he not just try the suit his PARTNER opened (in this case, diamonds), which I think is what the majority of ACTUAL bridge players would do?
But the disgusting, terminally stupid, repulsive GIBBO robots - for some strange and perverse reason - seem to consistently HATE leading their "partner's" suit, so on THIS random hand, North - for absolutely NO reason - leads a heart. This MIGHT work out best sometimes on some random hands, sure. And a DIAMOND (OR a club OR a spade) might work out poorly sometimes, but that is NOT an argument for leading a heart for absolutely NO reason.
On THIS random hand, a heart lead happened to work out VERY poorly, as it happened to DESTROY the "guaranteed" heart WINNER that North-South would have had on ANY other lead. Not surprising, since a lead from queen-third (or doubleton) is, along with a lead from jack-third (or doubleton) one of the most DANGEROUS leads in bridge, because it can easily do what it did here...by picking up a suit that declarer could NEVER do otherwise.
Even if a heart had been the BEST lead on this random hand, I would STILL have written this post, because the lead would STILL have been senseless and it would have been pure DUMB luck that it HAPPENED to turn out well.
Note that there was nothing MAGICAL about a DIAMOND lead. IT would not have GAINED anything, per se, but at least it would not have COST anything, as the STUPID heart lead did. In fact, a heart lead was the ONLY suit that would cost a trick on this hand, and SURE ENOUGH the execrable, fleabrained GIBBO robot had NO trouble finding it, because his SPECIALTY is finding the WORST, and LEAST rational leads. He is not helped by his perverse (and stubborn!) OBSESSION to AVOID leading his "partner's" suit.
This hand was nothing exceptional and North's STUBBORN refusal to lead his "PARTNER'S" suit on this and COUNTLESS other hands is certainly not the worst of his ENDLESSLY imbecilic habits and actions, but it shows that from big to small, these nauseating monstrosities seem DESTINED to almost ALWAYS do SOMETHING stupid, illogical, and costly. GIBBO is the PITS. As I have previously opined, if we TRIED to create a robot WORSE than GIBBO, we would have a HUGELY difficult, and perhaps IMPOSSIBLE task.
https://www.bridgeba...C9%7Cmc%7C10%7C
#2306
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- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 10:26
Why the HELL is North...LEAPING...to THREE (!) no trump...on his 3-4-4-2 mere EIGHT-count with NO particular source of tricks? Note that his own GIB definition, which he obviously ignores (as he SO often and SO stupidly does) says that his bid shows "10-17 HCP"!
Some EXTREMELY naive and misguided readers (likely apologists for and defenders of the truly execrable GIBBO robots) are probably thinking "Sour grapes. This twit Benny got a bad result and is blaming the terrific, expert GIBBO robot for his own shortcomings."
UH...wrong! First, NONE of the two thousand plus posts in this thread are EVER about sobbing about bad results or bragging about good results. NONE. The SOLE objective of EVERYTHING in this essential thread that Diana so wisely created and named is ALWAYS to expose the hideous, unending atrocities of the contemptible and completely incompetent GIBBO robots in the hope that the powers that be will see the GREAT need to replace them with decent, COMPETENT robots. If they did, they would vastly improve the BBO experience for its members, players, and paying customers. They would also GREATLY improve BBO's ability to attract and RETAIN members and paying customers in this modern era where MANY other bridge sites are now in competition with BBO. In short, BBO would be the biggest winner of all if it improved its robots.
And, BTW, o ye noble (and SUPREMELY naive!) apologists for and defenders of the execrable GIBBO robots, I am DEFINITELY not CRYING about this hand, since the score I got on the board was...a hundred percent...for making 3NT. So, the robot's STUPID leap to 3NT did NOT cost me anything, and in fact GAVE me a GOOD score...but that does not IN ANY WAY change the fact that it was a stupid, illogical, anti-systemic bid that NEEDS to be exposed as yet ANOTHER example of how utterly hopeless these GIBBO clowns are.
https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cpc%7CC9%7C
Some EXTREMELY naive and misguided readers (likely apologists for and defenders of the truly execrable GIBBO robots) are probably thinking "Sour grapes. This twit Benny got a bad result and is blaming the terrific, expert GIBBO robot for his own shortcomings."
UH...wrong! First, NONE of the two thousand plus posts in this thread are EVER about sobbing about bad results or bragging about good results. NONE. The SOLE objective of EVERYTHING in this essential thread that Diana so wisely created and named is ALWAYS to expose the hideous, unending atrocities of the contemptible and completely incompetent GIBBO robots in the hope that the powers that be will see the GREAT need to replace them with decent, COMPETENT robots. If they did, they would vastly improve the BBO experience for its members, players, and paying customers. They would also GREATLY improve BBO's ability to attract and RETAIN members and paying customers in this modern era where MANY other bridge sites are now in competition with BBO. In short, BBO would be the biggest winner of all if it improved its robots.
And, BTW, o ye noble (and SUPREMELY naive!) apologists for and defenders of the execrable GIBBO robots, I am DEFINITELY not CRYING about this hand, since the score I got on the board was...a hundred percent...for making 3NT. So, the robot's STUPID leap to 3NT did NOT cost me anything, and in fact GAVE me a GOOD score...but that does not IN ANY WAY change the fact that it was a stupid, illogical, anti-systemic bid that NEEDS to be exposed as yet ANOTHER example of how utterly hopeless these GIBBO clowns are.
https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cpc%7CC9%7C
#2307
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- Posts: 2,336
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Yesterday, 19:23
I'm playing a game right now with three GIBBO robots, and, as happens in EVERY game and ALMOST every single hand where GIBBO robots are present, I am constantly being reminded of how HOPELESS their system is, how PATHETIC their definitions are, and how remarkably incompetent and ignorant the GIBBO robots are. It's laughable to think that someone somewhere thought a workable bidding system was being used or that the definitions were actually useful. And of course the most laughable thing of all is that the "I" in "GIB" stands for "intelligent".
#2308
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- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Today, 09:07
OMARHEUM has sent another hand. He writes "West says 'If you bid and rebid a suit, I will lead it. If you lead a new suit, I will continue it.' "
My comments:
Not much to add. West does not have an attractive lead, but the two leads he makes are typical for GIBBO robots, and the HEART return in particular is REALLY stupid after he sees the dummy and sees South win trick one and immediately play the heart queen at trick two.
https://www.bridgeba...HK%7Cmc%7C12%7C
My comments:
Not much to add. West does not have an attractive lead, but the two leads he makes are typical for GIBBO robots, and the HEART return in particular is REALLY stupid after he sees the dummy and sees South win trick one and immediately play the heart queen at trick two.
https://www.bridgeba...HK%7Cmc%7C12%7C
#2310
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- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Today, 12:43
Here, the GIBBO jerk in the West, just like the GIBBO jerk in the West did against OMAR in post # 2308, leads the suit bid by NS and then whenever he gets in returns the suit PLAYED by NS. The ADDED bonus on this hand is that the ignorant doofus later PITCHES his guard in diamonds.
Who EVER had the idea that these GIB/GIBBO halfwits had any IDEA about how to play bridge?
https://www.bridgeba...ST%7Cpc%7CSK%7C
Who EVER had the idea that these GIB/GIBBO halfwits had any IDEA about how to play bridge?
https://www.bridgeba...ST%7Cpc%7CSK%7C
#2311
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- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Today, 13:04
The GIBBO robots have the absolutely worst bidding I have ever seen anywhere by anyone or anything.
East demonstrates for about the ten millionth time that these hopeless clowns haven't got a CLUE about how to bid two-suiters. The M.O.R.O.N. has KQJ63, 10, 10, AJ10753. As dealer, he opens 1C. South overcalls 1NT, West bids 2C, and North bids 2D.
East decides that he wants to bid again. Okay, fine...but SURELY his bid now should be 2S, showing his...DUH...GOOD...FIVE(!)-card...major! Instead, this unbridled, ugly simpleton LEAPS to four CLUBS. What a fantabulous I.D.I.O.T. - just like EVERY GIBBO robot I have EVER seen.
Meanwhile, many actual BRIDGE players would bid 2H, not 2C, with WEST'S hand.
And I think (?) that if North had doubled 2C, it would have been Stayman. Assuming that's true, then surely that would have been a better call than 2D.
https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cmc%7C11%7C
East demonstrates for about the ten millionth time that these hopeless clowns haven't got a CLUE about how to bid two-suiters. The M.O.R.O.N. has KQJ63, 10, 10, AJ10753. As dealer, he opens 1C. South overcalls 1NT, West bids 2C, and North bids 2D.
East decides that he wants to bid again. Okay, fine...but SURELY his bid now should be 2S, showing his...DUH...GOOD...FIVE(!)-card...major! Instead, this unbridled, ugly simpleton LEAPS to four CLUBS. What a fantabulous I.D.I.O.T. - just like EVERY GIBBO robot I have EVER seen.
Meanwhile, many actual BRIDGE players would bid 2H, not 2C, with WEST'S hand.
And I think (?) that if North had doubled 2C, it would have been Stayman. Assuming that's true, then surely that would have been a better call than 2D.
https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cmc%7C11%7C
#2312
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- Posts: 2,336
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Today, 14:12
This hand demonstrates again (as MOST hands involving GIBBO imbeciles do) that they have no idea how to bid. It ALSO shows how HILARIOUSLY pathetic the GIBBO system is.
North bids 4NT, Blackwood for hearts. HOW will BLACKWOOD help him when he has TWO side suits (diamonds and clubs) that are BOTH lacking either a first or second round control?
But the REAL hilarity is soon to come, because over North's 4NT, East passes and South bids 5C, which in the antiquates=d, TREMENDOUSLY inferior and stupid response structure that GIBBO of COURSE uses, shows zero or three key cards (rather than one or four, as a superior, MODERN, DECENT system would).
West passes, and North bids 5D, asking if South has the queen of hearts. Now, in their system, if South DOES have the heart queen and ALSO has a side KING lower than hearts, he can bid the suit the side king is in, thereby showing BOTH cards...information which will sometimes be useful to North.
As South, I indeed had the heart queen, and I ALSO had a side king - in clubs. Thus, I was preparing to now bid 6C to show both cards.
However, East wisely (legitimate praise here - NOT sarcasm) made a lead-directing double of 5D.
"No problem," I naively thought, "because surely it makes PERFECT sense for 6C to STILL show the heart queen and club king". My thought was INDEED naive, because I had overlooked the fact that almost NOTHING in the HOPELESS GIBBO system "makes PERFECT sense"...or often ANY sense!
In any case, before bidding, I clicked on 6C to read the GIB definition. THIS was what I saw: "5+ hearts; 19+ HCP; 23+ total points". That's IT, that's ALL! COMPLETELY useless, repetitive, redundant, TOTAL garbage! It said...word for word...EXACTLY what the GIB definition of South's earlier 3H call had said - EXACTLY!
You might be thinking, "Glad you posted this, Ben. This is indeed a funny story and it certainly exposes how pathetic the GIB definitions are. Good work!" Well, thanks, but...we haven't YET come to the REALLY funny (and in a sense SAD) part of this story, because...
Out of curiosity, I then checked (before bidding) several OTHER possible calls: 5N, 6H, and even (for the Hell of it) 6S. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD THE SAME DEFINITION AS FOR 6C!
So, 5NT, 6C, 6H, and 6S...ALL said EXACTLY the same thing...which was also EXACTLY, word for word, what the definition of 3H had said.
I didn't bother checking to see what 5S or 6D would have said, but I wouldn't be at ALL surprised if they too said exactly the same thing.
Wanting to (if POSSIBLE) avoid a disaster with my CENTRE HAND OPPONENT (by FAR the most dangerous of the three!) losing his "mind" (ha, ha!), i bid 6H, figuring that was the bid the imbecile was least likely to misinterpret.
But consider that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, actually CREATED this utter JOKE of a system and decided it would be PERFECT. That same someone figured it would be a BRILLIANT strategy to have at LEAST five (!) bids ALL mean EXACTLY the same thing! Oh yeah, NO redundancy at ALL there! AND, not only are they all saying EXACTLY the same thing, but what they ARE saying is...TOTALLY USELESS...and does not even ANSWER THE QUESTION THAT NORTH ASKED!
Even though I have TOTAL contempt for the repulsive, hopeless GIBBO robots, I also have some SYMPATHY for them, because how in the world could ANYONE bid well when hampered by a system and definitions as BLINDINGLY ridiculous as those of GIB/GIBBO?
https://www.bridgeba...H2%7Cmc%7C12%7C
North bids 4NT, Blackwood for hearts. HOW will BLACKWOOD help him when he has TWO side suits (diamonds and clubs) that are BOTH lacking either a first or second round control?
But the REAL hilarity is soon to come, because over North's 4NT, East passes and South bids 5C, which in the antiquates=d, TREMENDOUSLY inferior and stupid response structure that GIBBO of COURSE uses, shows zero or three key cards (rather than one or four, as a superior, MODERN, DECENT system would).
West passes, and North bids 5D, asking if South has the queen of hearts. Now, in their system, if South DOES have the heart queen and ALSO has a side KING lower than hearts, he can bid the suit the side king is in, thereby showing BOTH cards...information which will sometimes be useful to North.
As South, I indeed had the heart queen, and I ALSO had a side king - in clubs. Thus, I was preparing to now bid 6C to show both cards.
However, East wisely (legitimate praise here - NOT sarcasm) made a lead-directing double of 5D.
"No problem," I naively thought, "because surely it makes PERFECT sense for 6C to STILL show the heart queen and club king". My thought was INDEED naive, because I had overlooked the fact that almost NOTHING in the HOPELESS GIBBO system "makes PERFECT sense"...or often ANY sense!
In any case, before bidding, I clicked on 6C to read the GIB definition. THIS was what I saw: "5+ hearts; 19+ HCP; 23+ total points". That's IT, that's ALL! COMPLETELY useless, repetitive, redundant, TOTAL garbage! It said...word for word...EXACTLY what the GIB definition of South's earlier 3H call had said - EXACTLY!
You might be thinking, "Glad you posted this, Ben. This is indeed a funny story and it certainly exposes how pathetic the GIB definitions are. Good work!" Well, thanks, but...we haven't YET come to the REALLY funny (and in a sense SAD) part of this story, because...
Out of curiosity, I then checked (before bidding) several OTHER possible calls: 5N, 6H, and even (for the Hell of it) 6S. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD THE SAME DEFINITION AS FOR 6C!
So, 5NT, 6C, 6H, and 6S...ALL said EXACTLY the same thing...which was also EXACTLY, word for word, what the definition of 3H had said.
I didn't bother checking to see what 5S or 6D would have said, but I wouldn't be at ALL surprised if they too said exactly the same thing.
Wanting to (if POSSIBLE) avoid a disaster with my CENTRE HAND OPPONENT (by FAR the most dangerous of the three!) losing his "mind" (ha, ha!), i bid 6H, figuring that was the bid the imbecile was least likely to misinterpret.
But consider that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, actually CREATED this utter JOKE of a system and decided it would be PERFECT. That same someone figured it would be a BRILLIANT strategy to have at LEAST five (!) bids ALL mean EXACTLY the same thing! Oh yeah, NO redundancy at ALL there! AND, not only are they all saying EXACTLY the same thing, but what they ARE saying is...TOTALLY USELESS...and does not even ANSWER THE QUESTION THAT NORTH ASKED!
Even though I have TOTAL contempt for the repulsive, hopeless GIBBO robots, I also have some SYMPATHY for them, because how in the world could ANYONE bid well when hampered by a system and definitions as BLINDINGLY ridiculous as those of GIB/GIBBO?
https://www.bridgeba...H2%7Cmc%7C12%7C
#2313
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,336
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Today, 14:39
GIBBO "defensive prowess" on full display:
I, South, win the heart lead in my hand, and at trick two lead the 5 of diamonds towards dummy's exposed AJ96.
West has KQ3. He STUPIDLY plays his queen. Why "stupidly"? Because any DECENT bridge player would have played the diamond THREE, figuring that declarer South would VERY likely be calling for dummy North's diamond NINE (Curse of Scotland), the NORMAL play. And indeed, I had been planning on calling for the 9, because that IS the NORMAL and BEST play. So, had West not been a typical GIBBO imbecile, and had he CORRECTLY played his diamond three, I would have lost to East's offside 10, and West would later have scored a second diamond trick for his side, through the power of his remaining KQ dub.
Having won his queen (since I ducked), this absolute GENIUS now played the card he SHOULD have played at trick two, the diamond three. Of course, I got this right by sticking in dummy's jack and dropping East's offside now-stiff 10. But why would the IMBECILE in the WEst be playing a DIAMOND at trick three anyway? Yes, you're right: silly question. Of COURSE he played another diamond, because that was the suit DECLARER was playing, and these GIBBO pieces of trash are so extraordinarily stupid that they LOVE to return DECLARER'S suit.
At trick four, I ducked a spade to West, and he of COURSE now played... his LAST diamond, the king, because, oh yeah, that was REALLY going to help his side! This board was yet ANOTHER zero for the INCREASINGLY, CONSTANTLY growing, MASSIVE collection of failures for these incomparably hopeless GIBBO pieces of dirt.
GIBBO robots are not just the stupidest and most incompetent "bridge players" I have ever seen. They might just be the most incompetent things in ANY field of endeavour ANYWHERE. They absolutely rot at everything they do.
https://www.bridgeba...CJ%7Cpc%7CCK%7C
I, South, win the heart lead in my hand, and at trick two lead the 5 of diamonds towards dummy's exposed AJ96.
West has KQ3. He STUPIDLY plays his queen. Why "stupidly"? Because any DECENT bridge player would have played the diamond THREE, figuring that declarer South would VERY likely be calling for dummy North's diamond NINE (Curse of Scotland), the NORMAL play. And indeed, I had been planning on calling for the 9, because that IS the NORMAL and BEST play. So, had West not been a typical GIBBO imbecile, and had he CORRECTLY played his diamond three, I would have lost to East's offside 10, and West would later have scored a second diamond trick for his side, through the power of his remaining KQ dub.
Having won his queen (since I ducked), this absolute GENIUS now played the card he SHOULD have played at trick two, the diamond three. Of course, I got this right by sticking in dummy's jack and dropping East's offside now-stiff 10. But why would the IMBECILE in the WEst be playing a DIAMOND at trick three anyway? Yes, you're right: silly question. Of COURSE he played another diamond, because that was the suit DECLARER was playing, and these GIBBO pieces of trash are so extraordinarily stupid that they LOVE to return DECLARER'S suit.
At trick four, I ducked a spade to West, and he of COURSE now played... his LAST diamond, the king, because, oh yeah, that was REALLY going to help his side! This board was yet ANOTHER zero for the INCREASINGLY, CONSTANTLY growing, MASSIVE collection of failures for these incomparably hopeless GIBBO pieces of dirt.
GIBBO robots are not just the stupidest and most incompetent "bridge players" I have ever seen. They might just be the most incompetent things in ANY field of endeavour ANYWHERE. They absolutely rot at everything they do.
https://www.bridgeba...CJ%7Cpc%7CCK%7C
#2314
- Group: Advanced Members
- Posts: 2,336
- Joined: 2022-July-07
Posted Today, 14:50
Monumentally STUPID 2H bid by West after his passed-hand "partner" merely balanced.
Monumentally STUPID 4C bid by East.
5C: Monumentally stupid also? No, not at all. It's well BEYOND being MERELY monumentally stupid. It's certifiably insane.
But to be fair, these dweebs did NOT get another complete zero here. They did MUCH better. They picked up a full 3.12 % on the board, which for them is an ADMIRABLE achievement.
https://www.bridgeba...CS9%7Cmc%7C8%7C
Monumentally STUPID 4C bid by East.
5C: Monumentally stupid also? No, not at all. It's well BEYOND being MERELY monumentally stupid. It's certifiably insane.
But to be fair, these dweebs did NOT get another complete zero here. They did MUCH better. They picked up a full 3.12 % on the board, which for them is an ADMIRABLE achievement.
https://www.bridgeba...CS9%7Cmc%7C8%7C