[benellis58]

West wins his heart JACK at trick one. At trick two the MONUMENTAL imbecile...SWITCHES...to a...DIAMOND!

https://www.bridgeba...HT%7Cpc%7CC2%7C

[benellis58]

At another table, the EW "defence" on the same board as in post #1481 immediately above was even MORE hilarious. I'm beginning to think that the GIBBO robots have a competition among themselves to see who can come up with the MOST stupid actions in each game.

https://www.bridgeba...CH7%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

South's 3C bid shows a hand that is rejecting North's invitation to 3NT while at the same time stating that that he wants to end the auction in 3C or 3D. Thus, North AMAZINGLY did the "right" thing by passing, because I have OFTEN (TOO often!) seen the twit bid 3NT in such auctions, almost always, not surprisingly, for a BAD result. The ironic and amusing thing is that if he ever had a reason to bid ON, THIS hand was the one (!), as he had a GREAT hand (considering his bidding up to this point) in support of clubs, and might well have considered a raise to 4C. I'm not criticizing his pass (and wish he would do it more often!), but I'm pointing out his BIZARRE approach to bridge, as he bids ON when he definitely should not, but quickly PASSES when he might well consider making a further move. Characteristically bass ackwards in logic. I was surprised and pleased to score 100 % on the board.

https://www.bridgeba...S8%7Cpc%7CCT%7C

[benellis58]

North's double of 4S is described in a typically pathetic, worthless, and useless GIB definition as "8+ HCP". NOTHING else is stated, so the definition is typical BBO garbage.

But here's the FUNNY thing: The paragraph above is NOT why I'm posting this hand. MANY (perhaps even most) GIB definitions ARE utter garbage, just as this one is. I don't post the vast majority of them, because it would take me till the year 2525 ("if man is still alive, if woman can survive", as Zager and Evans would add) to list ALL the GIB nonsense.

I am posting THIS hand and THIS execrable GIB definition because...the harebrained dolt of a GIBBO robot in the North doesn't even come CLOSE to matching this pathetic definition, his own GIB definition. He does NOT fulfill the one and ONLY requirement of the piece of trash definition ("8+ HCP"), because his HAND is 954, 63, KQ76, 10742 - a mere FIVE (!) HCP - a full THREE fewer than the MINIMUM "promised" by the worthless GIB definition! It is LAUGHABLE how TOTALLY useless and BROKEN the GIBBO robots are, how PATHETIC the GIB definitions are, and what an absolute JOKE the antiquated, unworkable, illogical, poorly designed GIBBO system is.

Why has all this GIB/GIBBO garbage not been incinerated long ago and replaced by a DECENT system, DECENT definitions, and DECENT robots?

https://www.bridgeba...C8%7Cpc%7CCT%7C

[benellis58]

Question: How can you be certain that an enemy contract is going to make?

Answer: Well, if your partner is a human, I'm afraid that I have no answer. However, if your "partner" is a GIBBO robot, the answer is "Whenever the piece of trash doubles it". In fact, whenever these clueless jerks double an enemy contract for penalties, consider yourself VERY lucky if it makes without overtricks.

[benellis58]

My contempt for the GIBBO robots grows every time I play a hand with them, every time I play a hand against them, every time I read about a hand involving them, and every time another player talks about them. The GIBBO robots not only disgust me - they disgust me more and more each and every day, as they continue to find new, innovative, and creative ways of even FURTHER humiliating themselves and even FURTHER exposing just how awesomely hopeless they are at every aspect of the game. They are indeed, and by far, the absolutely worst "bridge players" I have ever, EVER encountered in my many years of playing. They are far, FAR worse than even the worst human player I ever encountered. They are the worst of the worst, the lowest of the low. They are an embarrassment to the game of bridge.

Oh, and by the way, to be honest: I don't think they're very good. (Just thought I'd mention that, in case the first paragraph wasn't clear enough - ha, ha).

[benellis58]

Sorry. I'd just like to apologize for what I wrote in post #1486 immediately above.

It was far too...MILD....and far too...POLITE.

It didn't come CLOSE to expressing how much I detest the GIBBO robots. I'm truly sorry. In future, I'll try to be more clear in properly describing how much I loathe the nauseating, contemptible, unbearably stupid pieces of trash.

[benellis58]

What's that? You're yearning to see some examples of GIBBO cluelessness? Well, okay then. I'll be happy to oblige. It's not as if examples are hard to find!

How do you like North's 3NT bid? It's ridiculous, you say? You know, I must agree! 743 tripleton in the ONLY unbid suit is not exactly what I'd call a stopper! The ignorant trout didn't even follow his own GIB definition of 3NT, which was the usual piece of complete garbage that we have come to expect from GIB definitions. (You know, I can't really blame the disgusting GIBBO robots for SO often disregarding their own GIB definitions, since those definitions are regularly nothing but trash.) The hopeless definition was:

"2+ diamonds; 4-5 hearts; 4- spades...". Astonishingly, they got THAT far without yet wandering into their usual Bizarro World. I'm almost impressed...but let's continue down the rabbit hole of GIB lunacy and ignorance:

"9+ HCP". First, South has shown a GOOD hand in roughly the 17-18 point range, so would North need at LEAST 9? Second, North does NOT have "9+ HCP" - he has "only" 8. I don't blame HIM for THAT, however - I blame the typically imbecilic definition. What I DO blame North for is not having a spade stopper. But back to the nonsense about his 3NT bid promising "9+ HCP": In the typically sloppy, lazy GIB definition, no upper limit is stated, so "9+" literally means 9-37. Never mind 37; as we can see, he doesn't even have 9. But beyond that, North had PASSED in second seat after his RHO had passed! The GIBBO robots OPEN THE BIDDING with 12 HCP or more, and sometimes with less, so MAYBE, Mr. GIB, your definition of HCP might have put the upper limit at ELEVEN rather than at 37 (!)...and possibly even 10, because over South's 2C bid, North merely took a preference back to diamonds when he bid a PASSABLE (!) 2D, so he presumably didn't even have enough for an INVITAIONAL bid. Putting "9+ HCP" is not only sloppy and lazy, it's just plain WRONG.

"9- total points". Once again (Thousandth time? Millionth? Whatever...) GIB reveals that it has absolutely no CLUE about "total" points. As I've mentioned numerous times (yawn!), HCP can be less than or equal to "total" points, but they CANNOT be more! Yet, as these worthless GIB definitions so often do, this one gets it completely backwards, because it stupidly and incorrectly makes the ludicrous claim that the bid shows at LEAST 9 HCP (and possibly as many as 37) but at the same time shows at MOST 9 "total" points and possibly as few as zero, since once AGAIN the definition is SO lazily and sloppily written that no LOWER (this time) limit is shown, and "9-" literally means zero to 9. GIB always just pulls "total" points MAGICALLY out of a hat, anyway, since it has NO IDEA how to compute them. PLUS, North is bidding no trump here, so why would "total" points even be relevant. In general, GIB definitions might as well be IGNORED a lot of the time, because they are almost always useless and sometimes are WORSE than useless because of the hilariously incorrect "information" provided.

"Likely stop in spades". Well, YEAH. Hallelujah, the definition at least got THAT right...but of course the braindead GIBBO robot didn't! What North SHOULD have bid, depending on his partnership agreements, his assessment of his values, and his mood, should have been either pass, 3H, or 3S, but NOT 3NT with no spade stopper.

So, the final contract is an "impossible" 3NT by North. East actually makes the BEST lead of a spade, something the GIB robots would probably NOT have led, since they, hard as it is to believe, were even WORSE leaders than the disgusting GIBBO robots. Give credit to Lorserker for improving robotic leads to SOME extent. Anyway, after the spade lead, the 3NT contract has NO PLAY AT ALL. The defenders will knock out South's (yes, SOUTH'S - NOT North's, NOT the fleabrained CLOWN who SHOULD have a spade stopper!) spade ace at either trick one or two, and they will soon get in on a diamond because declarer will HAVE to give one up to set up tricks. The defenders will take four spades and a diamond, defeating the contract by one trick. EXCEPT THAT...

East is a...GIBBO robot, which means that like ALL GIBBO robots, he is a mind-blowingly stupid piece of trash with no idea of how to play bridge. Declarer wisely withholds dummy's ace at trick one. Mr. Stupid in the West wins his king. ("Nice play", as the late Eddie Kantar would say.) Then the M.O.R.O.N.I.C. dolt...switches (!!!!!) to the heart king! Declarer is now ABLE to duck a diamond, and the "defenders" can ONLY take a MERE two hearts in addition to the spade and the diamond that they already took. Nine tricks for NS. A MAKING game for NS...that had NO LEGITIMATE PLAY!

Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus, and yes, Virginia, the GIB and GIBBO robots ARE...by FAR...the absolutely worst "bridge players" I have EVER encountered.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/34fk5na4

[benellis58]

The GIB definition of South's 3NT bid is pathetic, as usual. It's also ANNOYING: The first three words are "Game in notrump". No KIDDING, Mr. GIB? You mean 3NT is actually GAME? And even MORE amazingly, three NO TRUMP is game in, let me see if I have this right...NO TRUMP? Golly gee, who would EVER have guessed? You know what, Mr. GIB? Maybe it's not really important to include this absolute drivel in your useless definitions. Maybe the HUMANS playing on BBO are not as mind-blowingly STUPID as the GIBBO robots that infest and infect this site.

GIVEN the (silly, annoying, heavily flawed) GIB definition of South's 3NT, North was uncharacteristically VERY timid when he PASSED with his TWELVE HCP. I've often seen him (stupidly) leap to 6NT with FEWER combined values. I don't mind stopping below slam, because looking only at the NS hands, slam is definitely not a lock, but North might (?) have considered a quantitative raise to 4NT, especially since he had a MAX for his forcing 1NT response AND he is usually an OVERbidder.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/5h259mth

[benellis58]

North-South scored 85.7 % for going down "only" one in 3NT. The interesting feature about this hand is that East confirms that he doesn't understand the Rule of Eleven and hasn't learned about unblocking.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yckkyfms

[benellis58]

A little birdie just e-mailed me and said that people want MORE examples of overwhelming GIBBO stupidity. No problem! We'll NEVER run out of examples!

A good bridge philosophy when discarding is "Throw losers, keep winners". Apparently East does not subscribe to that philosophy, because...

East-West knock out both my heart stoppers, establishing East's last heart (the 13th) as a winner...while he still has a side ace.

He decides...EARLY...to...pitch his heart winner, so when he later wins his club ace, he has nothing else to cash, and declarer claims.

Result: NS make an OVERTRICK that they were not legitimately entitled to. North-South score 100 % on the board, and East have another well-deserved ZERO to add to their huge and constantly growing collection.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2cjwnc5a

[benellis58]

At trick two, West wins his spade queen from Q10 doubleton. At trick three, LOOKING AT dummy North's remaining J9 (!) of spades, West plays his spade 10 (!), because...stop me if you've heard this before...these GIBBO dweebs LOVE to return the suit DECLARER plays.

No, East-West did NOT get a good score on the board.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p99b3c8

[benellis58]

Can't complain about the result (71.4 % for going down "only" one in 4H), but that 4H call by North - raising partner's SECOND suit, while holding an EIGHT-bagger of his own, - is well, uh, uh...

There's a cliché that goes: What do you call an eight-card suit? Trump.

Meanwhile, West decided he didn't want his second TOP diamond trick - possibly because these GIBBO losers never signal so they never know what "partner" has.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yc57wry4

[benellis58]

Here is a STONE COLD CLASSIC suitable for framing!

South DOUBLES East's 2S. West passes. North passes...and East..."runs" to...THREE...SPADES!

South doubles again. All pass. Down two.

Yes, of course this results in 100 % for NS and yet ANOTHER zero for EW...but WHAT a zero! As monumentally stupid and hopeless as these GIBBO dumbbells are, even THEY are usually not THIS obviously and overwhelmingly stupid!

Tell me again, though, apologists for and defenders of the GIBBO robots, yes tell me AGAIN about how they are "better than most human players". Go ahead. I'm listening.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yckjj5nw

[benellis58]

We scored 96.4 % for making two overtricks in 3C, so I'm not complaining...but North's 3C seems VERY timid. Maybe these poor twits don't have a good way to show this hand in their abominable, antiquated, worthless JOKE of a GIBBO system.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/yckmtb9m

[benellis58]

Dead average on this one, 50 %, but WHY is North bidding 5H with his hand on THIS auction? He's ALREADY shown his hand, he has "only" three hearts, and he has good defence. He's wrong in theory AND in practice, since 4S wouldn't have made.

https://tinyurl.brid...se.com/2p8v8cv5

[benellis58]

In the GIBBO system, 2D over an enemy 1NT opening always shows at least 5-5 in the majors, yet double by a PASSED hand over an enemy 1NT opening also shows 5-5. Perhaps (?) there is some distinction (?) of which I'm unaware between the two, but even if there is, it seems wasteful and redundant to have two different calls meaning the same (or perhaps only almost the same) thing.

Go back to that "always" up above, though. In the hand linked here, the definition of East's passed-hand 2D is "Cappelletti - majors - 5+ hearts; 5+ spades; 11- HCP; 11-12 total points", yet East's HAND is J10842, AJ62, Q86, Q, so once AGAIN the robot is not following his own GIB definition. Either the robots should follow their own definition or the definition should be changed!

https://www.bridgeba...S8%7Cpc%7CH5%7C

[benellis58]

North is thrilled - THRILLED, I tell you (!) - to be able to show a limit raise or better in clubs via his 3D call...but GOOD players playing a GOOD system would prefer to show their GOOD five-bagger in spades!

https://www.bridgeba...CHT%7Cmc%7C9%7C

[benellis58]

Typically STUPID 3D bid by North - why not a nice, normal, DESCRIPTIVE 3C? Then, a typically STUPID and UNILATERAL 4S bid by the same fleabrain in the North, this time not even following his own GIB definition of his imbecilic 4S bid. Please incinerate the GIBBO robots and replace them with robots who at least have SOME concept of how to play bridge. The current GIBBO robots have about as much intelligence as a turnip!

https://www.bridgeba...DT%7Cpc%7CH5%7C

[benellis58]

Another silly bid, this time 3C. Why do these bozos LOVE these faux cuebids? Why do they HATE bidding their HAND? If GIBBO robots were BARRED from EVER bidding an enemy suit, they would immediately be become better bidders (DESPITE the handicap of not being able to cue when it's RIGHT).

https://www.bridgeba...CST%7Cmc%7C9%7C