Im glad we start to find understanding
. Yes we will both end in 3Nt in this auction if prd has AQxxx in
♣. It dosent matter wheter u start with 1
♦ or 2Nt.
And u quite right bout the next one too; 8-9 hcp. and 5 card
♣ suit is no reason to push into the slam against strong balanced hand. But what about 6 card suit and 10 hcp.,then it is easier as u prd "knows" that u have a 8 card trump suit.
And quite right, 4441 is closer to balanced hand than 5440 or 5530, which IMO is a 2-suiter. And yes stiff K or A is better than xx.
What comes to those books and things that r evil...eh, ok its not evil to bend system when u dont have choice, but here u do have a choice. Firstly this hand aint worth 20 hcp., stiff K. Ok if its to u open 2Nt with less than agreed then u r wlc to do so.
Secondly, 2 Nt is a "master" bid; u decide how this bidding sequence will proceed, with out giving u prd a chance to enter.
Im not talking just this case, but about bidding in generally. Yes my prd fancys stiff honours more than small doubletons, but what he likes especially is that i try not to lie him; at least not more than i time to time have to. Hes a smart guy and usually do not pass forcing bids and is able to find out what is my problem during the auction.
Bidding systems r build make things easier, they r like langugae u speak; but if u want to understood correctly u have use words in the right context. Little artistic freedom is always allowed, but in boundaries.
Other thing is partnership, the guy opposite the table trusts u and does his best to help u common cause. Its not good politics to try to decide everything by u self nor by mastering the bidding sequenses according to what u think is the best. Prd likes to be in when u try to bid best possible contract.
I would like to say previous is IMO, but u will find similar thoughts from, at least, some books too.